Dear Diary: What Is A Girl To Do? ♥

Dear Diary,

I’ve been brought to understand that my love life is much more screwed up then I could’ve imagined. Okay, I didn’t want to talk about this, but the more I hold off, the more it is frustrating me. So, here goes nothing:

If someone really did love you, they wouldn’t ask you to wait for them whilst they’re off fooling around with other girls, right? At least that’s what I tell myself whenever the subject is brought up between the two of us. I don’t know what to think, what to feel, or how to deal with it. The minute I begin to make a move in the wrong direction, that is the moment where I could not only lose the person I’ve spent two years loving, but I may very well lose the best friend in him as well.

So, I am blocked. I can’t deal with it, I’m caught up in it and I don’t know how to let go of it. Everyone tells me, to just let go. It isn’t worth waiting for, and I know that. Though, as a writer I know for a fact, the heart can very well be very stupid. Wanting things that aren’t right, feeling things that shouldn’t be felt. Though, then I thought, what if we feel that way because we are shown that once we move past it, we’re literally ten times stronger. When I lost my dad two months ago, I thought I’d never be back on my feet again. I’m fifteen, I’m writing everyday, I have great grades and amazing friends.

Pulling myself up, was hard but it was definitely worth it. I couldn’t have done it without the proper mindset. “When you put your mind to it, you can do anything.”

That line is so true, so very true. I have big decisions to make, but I know that I have to look out for my feelings just as much as I have to look out for his.

Thanks for reading guys! ♥

-Anisa Nasir

#170

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