Dear Diary: What To Do When We Want It. ♥

imagesDear Diary, 

When we’re caught sitting in the back of class, wondering where we could be going next, there’s so much that we’re missing out on by waiting. You have a dream. Denying how bad you want it, will only drive you into a downwards spiral that will cause you to feel like you can’t achieve them. 

I’m currently sitting in the back of my Environmental Science Class, wondering what it is I’m doing with my life. I can’t understand the way my heart is working, nor can I understand how to “fix” the way I’m feeling. Why do we have to feel like we have to succumb to what everyone expects of us? People will always judge, people will always be ready to pounce, ready to bring you down.

That’s where you show them that you’re better than that. I’ve had a good couple of weeks, where my feelings were renewed entirely. Now, I’m starting to second guess myself. What if everything I’ve been feeling didn’t even exist? What if I was just waiting for something different to happen in my life? What if it was all just a dream?

These are questions that are swimming around in my mind right now, as I seclude myself from the world for this moment to figure out what it is that’s going on, what it is that my heart is doing. How are we ever going to know the truth?

I woke up this morning, flushed by the dream I had the night before, which was an exact representation of what I thought I was feeling, but now, now that I’m at school and I see before me what the truth really is, I wonder if it would be worth it to give in.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

That quote is so true, because there is so much that you could achieve once you don’t rush it. Don’t rush to find love, don’t rush to be with someone if it doesn’t feel right. Time waits for no one, but that doesn’t mean that you should push yourself to be happy in a situation you otherwise wouldn’t be. Just wait. There’s something out there that is better, someone out there that will truly, genuinely, love you.

Thanks for reading! ♥

– Anisa Nasir ♥

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