“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
It’s time I write about this. I’ve come to Canada to get away from all the troubles of my everyday life. What I didn’t think was going to happen was that I would be dealing with all of my problems here. I went to a get-together yesterday, and all I could think was that my dad was supposed to be there. That if he were still alive, this is where he’d be. After that, I had the worst panic attack. My anxiety is driving me crazy. I’m always tired and distant, I’m dealing with constant headaches, and I can’t deal with this anymore. It really is becoming too much to deal with and I’m unable to see what it is I need to do about it.
I can’t sleep forever. I can’t be afraid to live my life forever. Everyone is telling me that it will get easier with time, and that soon I will be able to deal with it. What they don’t realize is that I need to start dealing with it somehow before it eats me alive. I’ve never in my life been so miserable, and so afraid. All I want is to be okay again, but I’m not sure I know how to do that. Hopefully I will find out soon. I need to relieve this tension, and I need to allow myself to breathe freely again. My question is: Will I ever overcome this?