I’ve been struggling with the return of my anxiety since I’ve landed in Florida a few days ago. I tried to pass it off as something that I could deal with entirely on my own. Boy, was I wrong. Not only have I made it my mission to hide out and not see the world since I’ve arrived, I’ve been worrying about every little thing that has been happening to my body. I managed to pull myself out of bed to take a trip down to my local Walmart to purchase a few things. But of course, my anxiety had to tag along with me.
Browsing through the aisles, I tried to slow my breathing. I tried so hard to catch my breath and steady my pace, but it got too overwhelming. At last I stopped my mom and said “Mom, I don’t know what is going on, but I can’t breathe.” She set me down and said everything was going to be okay. I slowly began to catch my breath, but I knew I had to get out of there. So I did, and I sat in the car very shakily and very frightened.
Once I got home I knew that everything was going to be fine, but of course not knowing what exactly triggered the attack was going to gnaw at my mind. The thing is, I knew it was happening! I knew that I had to get out of there. But, I was afraid to ask for help, I was afraid to admit that something could’ve possibly gone wrong.
If you ever go through anything similar to my experience, do not be afraid to ask for help. Believe me when I say that when I first introduced the idea of anxiety to my parents, they didn’t believe me. But, now they understand. Don’t hold out on allowing other people to help you, because at the end of the day, they can very well make everything okay. I’m all for trying my best to take care of myself and not depending on others (or even beginning to think I have to see a doctor, because that still scares me), but it’s okay to tell someone what is going on, and it is okay to let them help.
It may be getting bad again, but I’ll just have to fight it harder. And that’s exactly what I plan to do. ♥︎