Dear Diary: Those Lovely Nightmares. ♥︎
I’d like to think that I’ve been doing something right. I know that things are only going to get harder, and that my life is finally starting. Though, is it okay to say that I’m not ready? I have one year left in the place I have come to love before I find myself making my own decisions. I worry about what the future is going to be like, how I am going to leave behind the people I’ve come to love. It’s only the second week of school, and I already feel as though I am in over my head. I have barely any time to write, and I’m working nonstop from dawn to dusk.
Today is the first day I’ve had to breathe. But can I? Not at all. That’s the thing about stress, you cannot put it off. It lingers until it is dealt with. I know that things are going to toughen, and I wish there was some form of comfort in my everyday. Of course, there is. Of course, I find pleasure in the place I shouldn’t. Thoughts that I shouldn’t have. But, I’m only human. Therefore, I long to be in love, just as much as anyone else.
I’ve been feeling entirely uninspired lately. I’ve got this novel in the works, but I feel as though there are other things that I want to be writing right now. I have so many ideas for short stories that they are driving me insane. Though, I’m not sure I can leave my novel and come back to it later. I’ll have to find a way to deal with it all, and write as I should. I’m just not sure I can do it alone.