I remember the moment when I decided that writing was the path I wanted to take. I remember how easy of a decision it was to be able to sit around and write to my heart’s content. However, recently it has been quite the struggle. The passion for writing is still as fresh as it always is, though I find myself finding it harder to write. Usually, I am able to tell stories whether or not I am drawing on something in my life. Recently, the lack of feeling has caused me to forget the joy writing has brought me all these years. Today is the first day since I’ve graduated high school that I’ve felt like I’m slowly getting used to the idea that I am now beginning my life. Of course, that has a lot to do with my writing as well.
Since school has closed, I found myself rather elated as well as exploring the necessary sadness that comes with achieving such milestone. It was when I realized that I not only have a lot of free time before I officially begin University in the Fall, but also that this may be the last real Summer I am going to have. At first, thinking of myself as an adult seemed like a joke. I felt as though I would always be stuck with my fifteen-year-old mindset. I knew that the day would come when my creativity would run dry, where I would feel as though there is nothing to do but go through the motions. That in itself is a form of depression. That is what I subjected myself to.
Throughout the process of coming to terms with the fact that I was about to leave behind everything I have been building over the years for a place entirely new, I realized I had been dealing with some nasty anxiety. It was bad enough I was depressed, but the anxiety too? Of course, like any other time in my life, I managed to work through it. Anxiety isn’t a subject that is new to me. Nor is it something I talk lightly of. I understand how terrible it could be, how unnerving it really is. It is always important to remember that sometimes, we don’t always succeed, and sometimes things get to be unbearable. That will change. You know how people attach a negative connotation to the phrase “Nothing lasts forever” right? Well, in light of that phrase, embrace the change. Embrace the person you are slowly becoming, and work towards your goals. I’ve learnt to appreciate every moment in my life, good or bad, and I know that without those experiences, I would be nothing but a naive girl entering a world I knew nothing about.
MY WRITING: Obviously, my writing has found itself at a standstill for a while. I did manage to write a poem today, as well as a few ones rather recently. I am in the process of writing a novel (Anisa, do you ever finish anything?) and the Alice and Wonderland Twisted Tale I am working on with my lovely friend, and talented artist Britney Seereeram. Follow her on Instagram: @be_artstuff The process of inspiring yourself can be tough, but once you find yourself getting back into things, there’s no telling what you can do.
“The world is your runway.”
Below, I have some of my recent poetry pieces. I hope you do enjoy!