“It’s not the kind of thing you can see coming. Sometimes you can be having the time of your life and it hits you like a tidal wave. An inevitable wash of utter fear and detriment, that it takes a good while to claw yourself out of it.”
I sat in my bed tonight, trying to relax. Most often, I realize the symptoms of my anxiety when they hit, however, I still spend most of my time trying to convince myself that I am okay. Dealing with a stressful situation can be a tedious task. I know for a fact, that I can be the happiest person in the world, and still suffer from my anxiety.
I could never tell what the actual source of my anxiety is. All I know, is that it takes a toll on my existence. It has, and it will. I forget sometimes that I’m not the only person dealing with this, but it is hard to remember that when you are sitting trying to conceptualize why you feel the way you do. I am always finding myself in ruts, desperately trying to pull myself out of them. Though, isn’t that what life’s all about? Don’t we all find ourselves in some kind of struggle that keeps us from where we really want to be?
I’ve learned pretty early on that writing about my anxiety often helps, so here I am again. I just started Chapter Seven of my novel that I’m writing for NaNoWriMo, but I am taking a break to deal with the issue at hand. One that I will be dealing with for quite some time, but I do know that it always gets better.