“Allowing for quality time with your mind can be a dangerous thing, but it can open a lot of doors. Sometimes, that mess of a train of thought is exactly what you need to be focusing on.”
For the past month, I’ve been stuck in a situation I have no control over, and for quite some time, I was incredibly bored with my life and the way I’ve chosen to live it. I’ve blamed those around me for my circumstances, instead of being grateful for being home. This time away has allowed me to put a lot of things in perspective, a lot of which I’ve based my conclusions on. When I was away, I was so caught up in trying to stay on top of things, suppressing my problems instead of dealing with them, and hoping that everything would just work out in my favor. Now that I’ve had some time to think, I realize that the reason I’m not happy has nothing to do with anyone or anything else. Regardless of me not being able to change my situation, the least I can do is be grateful it isn’t worse.
I’ve had a lot of time to do some writing, much of which I’ve realized has grown with me in the past six months. I no longer have to rely on the easy way out, because from the get go, all I wanted was to make a change. I wanted to put forth something that would leave enough questions, but give closure. I wanted to put forth something that stems from something greater than what is being published today, something that uproots the literary cliché and gives rise to a whole new outlook on fiction.
Those are big goals, those are things that time and effort.
I have time, now all I need is a push to do better.
A push I’m willing to give myself.