“Why are we so afraid of change?”
Last night was filled with anxiety-driven sleeplessness. I found myself paralyzed by all the heavy thoughts that began to weigh me down. I am guilty of trying to convince myself that everything is okay when it isn’t. I’ve heard so many people tell me that, “it’s okay to not be okay” and that is exactly right. However, there are times when I have a hard time accepting that. I thrive on the positivity I’ve begun to throng into my life. Recently, I’ve felt like I’ve been taking too many steps backwards and that has to stop now. The moment you realize that you’re putting your passion on hold to give into those “what ifs,” it is probably time for an intervention.
I have been putting my poetry on hold, giving into my novel entirely. However, it was last night that I realized, I’m only making up excuses. I can gladly do both, for I’ve done it before. I understand just how raw my poetry can be, and how much real emotion goes into every word. That is the reason I’ve held back. It was a moment of fear, one I am never proud of. However, the important thing is when that realization kicks in and you find yourself in an entirely new situation where you are willing to accept the changes. For example, my writing used to suffer a lot when I was going through anything too personal, and now I find myself drawing on each and every experience to fill my pieces with everything that makes up my writing style. I grow as a writer, I grow as a person.
Accept the changes.
Get up, and do something.