“I’ve spent too long elucidating the reasons why I cannot do something. Most of the time, I’m really not doing anything else. Then, why is it so hard to stay motivated?”
I’ll answer that for you. It’s not. When I am not putting effort into what I’m writing, it’s usually because I’m procrastinating. Procrastination is a conscious choice, one I’ve been a little too fond of lately. I’ve told myself that I’d hold back from telling the world that I want to blog on Mondays, in case I am not motivated enough to do so. Forget that. This is supposed to be a place where I can wholeheartedly share my journey, where I can write even when there is no inspiration to back me up. So yes, I will blog on Mondays. Did you see how I didn’t say: “I will aim to blog on Mondays” because that in itself is giving me the option to procrastinate.
I’m tired of not getting things done. I remember how easy it used to be when I was younger. I was full of drive, I could knock out a novel in a month and have no regrets. Where is that girl now? She’s hiding under all of her responsibilities, all of the things that are occupying her time. I say, it’s time to stop saying that I don’t have time to write, and just do it. (Wow.) I have this innate fear that my writing style has evolved so much that it has lost its spark. That is far from true. My writing style is and always will be evolving. There’s nothing I can do to stop that but embrace it.
I wanted to stay in bed today, watch Game of Thrones and sleep the rest of my unmotivated Monday away. Though, I made the conscious decision to get up, exercise, read for a while, stick to my blogging schedule, and as soon as I’m done here I’m off to write. My longing to accomplish finish writing another book is heavy and it is present in everything I do. Of course, there will be times when fighting to keep that drive will be nearly impossible. Though, if you want it. If you really want it, you’ll make time for it.