I’ve Never Been Good With Change and That Needs to Change

“I’ve never been one to openly accept change. As it happens, I always find myself looking aimlessly for a new routine, to give myself some structure. I’ve envied those that could do as they wished, not worrying about a plan or a goal in sight. A lot of things have been changing lately, and as much as I’d like to ignore it, I am growing up. Every day brings an abundance of new responsibilities to tackle. I’m not sure there ever is a time where any of that gets easier, though I have been handling it as best as I can. It gets harder to keep up with the things I want to be doing, when the list of things I “have” to do gets longer. I’ve always been the person to say that if you really want to do it, you’ll find time. I believe that wholeheartedly, but I am still struggling to find a balance.” 

So, you’re saying that writing isn’t as hard as a nine-to-five job? I’m not published, and it’s still harder than I’ve ever expected it to be. That’s what makes it worthwhile. I live for that feeling I get when I’ve finally finished a piece of work I’m proud of. I live for the feeling I get when something I’ve written has genuinely hit a nerve, has settled into my bones, and become a part of me. 

Lately, I’ve been pretty content with the way my story is going (I could very well wake up tomorrow and want to throw it all out the window, but I won’t do that!) Why, you ask? Well, for one: The story isn’t finished. I have so much more to explore, so many more opportunities for my characters to experience. I’m writing extensively from both of my main characters’ points of view, and that means I have to create two distinct personalities that are experiencing the same things at virtually the same time. It’s been hell of a ride. I’ve loved every minute of it thus far, and I know that there’s so much left to uncover.

I want to be at the point in my writing ability where I don’t want the story to end, where it could go on for ages, and still give me all the same feelings it does right now. That is a goal for a later date, but a goal nonetheless. I’ve been paying majority of my attention to my antagonist this time around and I’ve been looking for every opportunity to do something different from my original plot points. I am trying to think outside of the box. As much as I do not fancy change, as much as I will go over something and eventually delete it, I need to have a better handle on things. I need to appreciate the work I’ve done, good or bad. That is the only way I’ll ever grow as a writer. That is the only way I’ll ever learn anything. 

Kudos to another blog post virtually on schedule!

Thank you for reading!

Love, Anisa Nasir (3)

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