“This past week flat out sucked. The feelings that surfaced this week had me in a bind, for I had felt them all before. Being victimized by my anxiety was not something I ever took lightly, I was the kind of person that would frantically try to find a way to “fix things” but inevitably that was never truly the answer. It usually made matters worse. In the event that my anxiety would resurface like this, I would channel it, I would write it out.”
People who deal with their anxiety on a regular basis understand that there are some days where being productive and passionate simply cannot happen. I had an incredible wave of anxiety this past week, when the stress of work and the stress of not completing all of my tasks on time began to weigh down on me. The only downside to having a strict schedule is that there is no telling when you’re going to have a bad day. You can’t plan for a bad day, you simply deal with it.
I’ve made it a habit to engage myself in inspiring material every morning, so that it would shine a positive light on all that I needed to accomplish. However, of course I wasn’t prepared for how low I’ve felt this week, and that inevitably took a turn for the worst when it came to all that I needed to get done. I read an article by Jon Westenberg on Medium:
and what stood out to me the most was this line: “But you make a decision, you make a call, and then you live with it.” – Jon Westenberg. That’s exactly how I’ve went about picking myself back up and getting things done. For example, when I woke up this morning I felt terrible, all I wanted to do was stay in bed all day and do nothing. Frankly, that was a place I did not want to revisit, for I knew just how hard it would be to pull myself out of that. So, I made a decision to get things done, and I succeeded. That may not seem like much, but to me that took more effort than I could ever explain. It’s the small victories that count sometimes. So, as I continue to tackle more work and further my learning, I will remember what makes me feel better when nothing else feels good enough. What I’ve chosen to do cannot be forced, and it’s okay to allow myself the time to heal. For when I get up and moving again, I’ll make something great, I’ll continue to do what I love: Create.