“I could lie and say that I woke up this morning with the sole purpose of getting things done. That, however, was not the case. I woke up with the sole purpose of being okay with taking a break. With today being a holiday, I’ve decided to allow myself the time to rest, the time to relax and focus on what I want to accomplish this week. Returning home always hits me with this wave of productivity, and I’m slowly realizing that this vacation is coming to an end. Eventually, I won’t have the time to wake up on a Monday morning and be able to go right back to bed. Enjoy the little things, bask in them. I know I have.”
I’ve always struggled with feeling like I haven’t done enough to pursue my interests, as if I’ve only been putting in very little effort. (This usually ends with me attempting to get something done, even though I’m well aware that taking a break and allowing myself to procrastinate are completely different things). I’m afraid of falling off the deep end, of the moment where I may realize that everything I want to get out of my writing simply doesn’t exist anymore. That over-encompassing feeling of wanting to begin again, even though you’re halfway through a project never fails to leave me be.
In those moments, I ask myself whether I’m actually involved in the topics I’ve chosen to write about, and even though the answer is usually yes, these feelings still exist. That is why I feel that it is important to take a break every once in a while, for I know that I am not the kind of person that can get up every day and write as much as I would like to. I’ve begun to learn to appreciate that I’ve put in effort at all, and that there will be some days where I’d rather enjoy the time I have with myself, rather than forcing myself to do something that I’d probably end up changing later.
When I sit here and write these blog posts, I do find that they can become slightly repetitive (which is something I’ve said before), but they do serve a purpose. They keep me going. They keep my writing going. That’s good enough in my book. Taking the time to allow myself and my body what they need, is always something I’ve felt I could pass up. Though, I think it’s appropriate to be undeniably lazy today.